Only Nineteen
by moony391
Summary: Nineteen, they were only nineteen, but so much stood in their paths. War and prejudice, marriage and ...life. It all stood in the way, when all they wanted to do was simply forgive, forget, and enjoy a moment.


**Hello everyone! This is my first story in ages. This sort of came to mind after I saw Deathly Hallows Part II last night! As always, everything belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Enjoy!**

The emotional tumult of the day had left Lily Evans -drat, it was Lily_ Potter _now, wasn't it?- feeling rather drained. She was seeking comfort, even in the smallest of ways. So, as her husband assisted her unwilling sister and positively scandalized brother-in-law pack up the remaining belongings of her now deceased father, Lily ran. With James's blessing and whispered reassurance of one word ("Go."), Lily abandoned the reality she was ill prepared to handle. She ran and kept running for a long while, meaningless and with no direction. Until...She ran off to a place where two dead parents, an angry older sister, a dangerous war, and the pain of the present were far far away.

Lily ran to a place of childhood giggles and playtime; the old play park she and Tuney had frequented when they were small. Before magic drove a permanent wedge between the two sisters, this place had seemed magical. The swing set was anything they desired; their own private Room of Requirement right at end of their road, which was easily manipulated into castles of princesses or teepees of American Indians. Of course, this was all before the illusions were shattered when a small black haired boy intruded on their sisterhood, slapping Lily with a both delightful and horrifying truth.

Since a stitch had grown in her side, Lily slowed down. Pushing her dark red hair away from her sweaty brow, the witch deposited herself onto a swing -_her_ swing, to be precise. As her breathing gradually slowed, Lily leaned back, examining the stars without the usual astronomer's scrutiny. They remained as breathtaking and fascinating as they always had, a mystery that even the smartest of her time could not explain away with intelligent words or precise instruments. The marvel of the night sky, with its timeless beauty, almost held Lily captive long enough for the pains of her reality to slip out of reach for a moment. Unfortunately, _almost_ held far too accurate.

A twig snapped, and for a moment Lily was transported to a fateful adventure to the play park nearly a decade before. She could almost taste the tang of her salty upper lip in the gleaming summer sun, she could almost feel the wing whipping through her hair as she pumped her legs to swing and then sail so effortlessly off, weightless and free if only for a moment.

The twig snapped, and Lily's bright green eyes took in the very same boy who'd interrupted her childhood. Severus was older now; Lily realized with a jolt that she hadn't seen him in well over a year. Even then, their final years as classmates had passed in stony silences and hidden tears. He looked exactly the same as he always had, but something about him did not match the picture of Severus that Lily carried around inside. He was harder now; all sharp angles and straight edges, with no softness in his eyes even for his former best friend.

Lily eyed the man that should have sent her diving into her pockets of her wand -an enemy now, this was _war_ after all -and all she wanted was to ask him to join her on the swings, to relive the past for just a moment, live as carefree schoolchildren once more. Ask him to join her side, to take back his hurtful words, and she'd forgive, she'd forgive so easily... Lily never could stay angry with him, not for long, not even when he'd been _so wrong_ and so hurtful, she always always forgave too easily.

He needed no words to instruct; Severus joined Lily on the swings without a sound. They swung, no words exchanged for a long while. They just swung, staring at the night sky and reaching for the unreachable bounds of starlight, listening to the echoes of childhood hiding in the creaks of the rusty chains. _"...Tell me more about Hogwarts, Sev. ...Do they really use owls to deliver mail..?" _It was only when dim lamplight reflected off of Lily's wedding band that his hoarse voice broke their stillness. "You're married?" The words were blurted; ugly and surprised and hurt and jealous. They cut directly to her core in an instant, but she held her silence and granted him only a nod. "Who...?" His second question was hardly a question, but a desperate plea to be wrong.

Her bright eyes sought his dark ones in the darkness, pleading as well, but for forgiveness, acceptance, to hold his disgust at bay for her sake... "James Potter." Feet dragged across the cool gravel, halting all pretense of childhood reminiscence. Their ceasefire was over all too soon, and Lily stood as well. Eyes locked, both right arms twitching toward their pockets. Her green eyes were hard, and she tilted her head to the side ever so slightly. "Don't you even want to know why I'm here?"

A familiar look of shame flickered across Severus's face, whitewashed in the moonlight. His thin lips twitched, but he remained mute. It was an all too familiar feeling to Lily; the disappointment as Sev had, yet again, neglected to wonder about her life or her choices or her _anything._ He was awfully selfish in that respect; Severus had always hated any part of Lily's life that did not involve him in some way. She could still hear so clearly his seething rant when she was invited to a Slug Club meeting. It wasn't so much that he wasn't invited, but rather that she intended to go without him. Lily narrowed her eyes at her former friend. "My father died," she said evenly. "I know that doesn't much concern you, since he's a Muggle, but I'm here trying to pack away his things."

There it was. Truth, reality swooping back in and stealing away the innocence of their moment. They were enemies now, like it or not, and it hard to ignore a fact like that for any longer.

Severus pressed his thin lips into a hard line. "I knew." He couldn't hold her gaze any longer, and glanced over toward the swings. "I saw the ambulance carry him away."

"Do you live at home again?" It was a question of curiosity, no Order required interrogation behind her voice. Lily wanted desperately to regain the lost moment, to dwell in the past a little longer.

"Visiting my mother for a few days."

"And your dad?"

"Would I really be visiting him?"

A rare moment of camaraderie; hints of twin grins ghosting across their faces. It was followed by a long stretch of silence. Lily took back her swing, and Severus mirrored her actions. They swung, save for the creak of the swings.

"I-" He couldn't finish the sentence, and the unfinished thought lingered in the fall air along with the scent of fallen leaves and pumpkin spice. One syllable that could mean everything or nothing, left unsaid due to years on painful scar tissue, the reminder of losing her over one stupid word.

"I know."

They continued to swing. At least an hour passed. Their fingers ached and bruised, their hips became painfully indented by the plastic saddles of the swing set, but they kept swinging despite the pains. Nineteen, they were only nineteen, but so much stood in their paths. War and prejudice, marriage and ...life. It all stood in the way, when all they wanted to do was simply forgive, forget, and enjoy a moment.

But moments are short lived in wartime, and soon enough Severus felt a searing pain shooting across his left forearm. Lily watched him suspiciously, as he made a sudden excuse and hurried away. Coming to her senses, Lily rose from her swing. She hurried off, back toward her childhood home. Away from Severus and the life she had cherished when she was so young, and back to a dangerous reality.


End file.
